Another Fascinating Narcissistic Charming Intellectual

It’d Make My Day!

I used to be the proud owner of an original Swiss Army Knife. I loved that thing. It was everything to me between the ages of about thirteen and fifteen, when I spent every single evening after school pretending to be John Rambo. But somewhere along the line, amid puberty, girls and living life, I lost that treasured knife of mine. It disappeared one day and I haven’t seen it since. The worst part about it is that I don’t even know when that day was–I was to busy doing other stuff (like worrying about what kind of hair loss remedy I might eventually need to buy…). My, how I let my loyal friend down–

Now, I don’t know where this idea came from, but I happen to think it’s a corker, so here me out: my idea is this–A mobile phone with Swiss Army Knife attachment on the back. I mean–How good would that be? How fantastically useful and brilliant?! With that thing you’d be able to open cans, email people, telephone people, all while opening a bottle of wine. I’m just praying it’s going to happen, because that really would make my day.

Or I might just make one myself. I have a friend who’s good at engineering, so I’m sure he wouldn’t mind helping me out, since he used to love playing John Rambo as well.

Of course, there is a danger that this craze might catch on, so I can see that I’m going to have to be very careful. Part of the fun of the Swiss Army Knife was that it was something only me and a few friends had. What would I do if the whole world got in on the act?!